Baby names: Drake needs your help!

My wife has officially banned the name Exree (pronounced like X-ray) Hipp from "our" baby name list. The last I heard of him he was balling for the Harlem Globetrotters. At this stage in my life, I cannot think of a better role model than that. Although Exree struck me as slightly too ironic for such a scene. Either way, my feeling is that an Exree Hipp Studebake could really bring badminton back to the fore. But perhaps I will leave this for another post.

Deciding on a baby's name seems virtually impossible. My wife doesn't seem convinced that Studebake should be the child's last name (despite the contribution we have made to the world - who can forget the "Buy shuttlecocks not enriched uranium" campaign in the early 1990s? Would we be here today without it? I ask you...). So that is our first hurdle.

Middle names, in my opinion, present a wonderful opportunity to introduce the permanency of eccentricity and irony into a young child's life. My generous parents inserted two adjectives between the great bookends Drake and Studebake. And look at me now? I manage to get up in the morning four out of seven days per week. A great success.

And first names, of course, should be long. Three syllables at a minimum. (Exree being an exception for obvious aesthetic significance.)

Unfortunately, on the logic concerning both middle and first names, my lovely wife again appears unconvinced.

Leaving me, Drake Studebake, at a rare loss and in need of help.

So please, dear concerned reader, do send comments with ideas. If your idea is particularly good, I will include your name in the Nobel Prize speech discussed in an earlier post.

(Achilles Z. Renoir was presented to my wife on Friday evening and seems to have made little impact. Stubbornness abounds in women, I tell you.)

Help!